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Between womanhood and motherhood there’s a vital leap called pregnancy when you either make it or break it. During the nine months course of pregnancy, you either give in to the old-fashioned grim look on mothers with “Bas ya wad! Bas ya bet!” attitude; or you turn into a stronger, more mature and sexier version of you. We will give you a full course on how to be a certified adorable mom-to-be.
FIRST TRIMESTER CURRICULUM
These courses will introduce some symptoms of pregnancy that you can see in your mirror reflection. Explanations are too theoretical so I left it to your gynecologist to discuss with you.
- BOSM 236: Introduction to Breast Studies
In the beginning of the first trimester, you might feel breast swelling and soreness. However, good news for all A and B cups, you’ll enjoy having the bigger sizes you always fanaticized about.
- VEIN 209: Selected Topics in Veins
Most women suffer from visible blue veins on breasts and varicose veins in legs since the early months of pregnancy.
- SKIN 100: Skin Perfect Policy
Due to the rush of hormones during those months, you’ll be gifted with the best and most glowing skin you can possibly have.
Soft-core courses deal with feelings you’ll have during the first trimester. These will further prepare you for your major studies, later.
1. PEPE 247:
Your bathroom trips will multiply day and night because of increased urination.
2. XOST 344: The Pursuit of Rest
Waves of fatigue will wash you every now and then. You’ll feel sleepy more often than you used to.
3. HDEK 340: Headaches and Dizziness Theory
In the first two – three months, you may fall prey to silly headaches and/or dizziness. Check with your doctor immediately if you faint or have migraines, though.
4. PUKE 311: Temporally Morning Sickness
It’s absurd they call it morning sickness, when it can be there anytime of the day. It usually disappears by the third or fourth month.
1. INFO 380: Independent Study
As soon as you plan to have a baby, try to start educating yourself. If you listened to every female in your league you’ll end up hating the day you decided to get married. Buy the right maternal books and subscribe to an e-newsletter of a decent childcare website. Meeting young moms like you helps you tremendously to fit in.
2. GLAM 395: Queenology
Starting from your family all the way to your friends, peers and neighbors, you’ll receive frequent Ooohs and Aaahhhs. Frankly, enjoy the attention for you’re going to be the queen for next nine months.
3. SNAX 201: Mathematics for Snacks
For the first time we’ll ask you to not to finish your meals. Instead, munch on little snacks all day. It’ll help you through the morning sickness and will keep you light. Fruit, fresh vegetables, and ginger biscuits top a long list of what’s good for you in your early months.
4. ORGN 215: Organic Food
Why not pamper yourself with being extra cautious with what you eat? Excess hormones, preservatives, colors and chemicals can all harm you and the baby. Organic food is now available everywhere. It’s a little pricy but definitely not in vain.
5. HAIR 301: Massive Development
Again thanks to active hormones of pregnancy, your hair will never look healthier, glossier, nor grow faster than those blessed months. It’s the right time to make use of its natural shine, so avoid coloring your hair now and let it flow behind you.
6. NAIL 210: Comparative Nails
With fur-smooth hair, a kitten like you needs to take care of her sharp paws. Long or short, your call; but remember we want an all feminine mama with all the pretty details.
7. MODL 312: History of Dressing Code
Don’t you dare buy those horrible big dresses they used to torture pregnant women with in the past! All you need to buy from maternity stores are essential stuff like nursing bras, nursing pads, stretch-marks creams, etc. That’s it. In your first trimester, you won’t really need to get anything yet. You can still wear your own clothes.
8. NAPS 411: Semi-nap
The one cure to fatigue is napping. Try to take cat naps during the day. You’ll never be able to recharge your energy otherwise.
9. BGIN 412: Design New You
Take advantage of your change in habits to make them permanent ones. It’s very useful to keep the healthy pattern of life: eating well, drinking lots of water, and quitting smoking of course. Start new customs like meditating, reading and researching, walking, and listening more to what your body wants to tell you.
10. LOVE 300: Wife Ethics and Responsibility
During pregnancy, you either bond with your husband tremendously or your relation will suffer big time. Most men believe that if she took care of herself, a pregnant woman can be so good looking. Enjoy your moments together and never think that three is a crowd. Unless, prohibited by your gynecologist, there’s nothing wrong with intercourse during pregnancy for normal cases. However, don’t push yourself into it during the first trimester when you’re nauseous and moody. In all cases, you should be looking forward for your next trimester as marvelous developments will occur in this area specifically.