Etiquette of Bringing up Kids

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Who is my Kid?

  • Is he/she a personal belonging?
  • Is he/she private property?
  • Does he/she have to be similar or resembling parents?
  • Is he/she a personal product (THING)?
  • Are they created without personal human characteristic?
  • Are they to be shaped upon parents’ WILL?
  • Are they just dummies or human beings?
  • Are they puppets in the hands of parents?
  • Are they a rack where parents to hang on their hatred and desperate?
  • Are they there to be humiliated?
  • Are they there to study only?
  • Are they there to obey and follow without knowing why?
  • Are they to be punished because they look like auntie or uncle?
  • Are they to pay for bringing them without financially prepared?
  • Are they to pay for losing our jobs or any economical instability?
  • Are they to pay for a new project start, or business load?
  • Are they to pay for parents’ psychological instability & disturbance?
  • Are they to pay for parents’ divorce?
  • Are they to pay for a fight between one of the parents and the boss?
  • Are they to pay for the increase of prices?

 

Kids are …

  • They are just an extension and not a belonging
  • They are an expand not a personal property
  • They are different not similar nor resembling
  • They are of a different human print and extremely distinguished
  • They are unique to God’s creation
  • They are not tools nor things, they are flesh and blood
  • They are having different human elements, of different characteristics
  • They are not puppets nor dummies, they are born matured
  • They are not a product but they are a result
  • They were empty and they are filled
  • They are out coming of your in put
  • They are just a cut and paste of your human behavioral styles
  • They are a mirror of your attitude and behavior
  • They are a video camera, recording all your actions
  • They are a recorded message, repeating your message
  • They are of mixed genus and chromosomes upon parents’ factory
  • They have a WILL to CHOOSE but not a WILL to BE
  • You are behind their psychological disturbance and instability
  • They are a future plant, to your implanted behavioral and ethical seed
  • They are a bless from God
  • Without them, you will never be MUM nor DAD
  • They are to be saved not humiliated
  • They are a pearl of a heart

 

How to bring Kids up?

  • Be a role model, they will imitate and copy
  • Never criticize them in public
  • Fish them doing something right
  • Praise before you criticize
  • Show love and forgiveness
  • Bring up yourself, before bringing them up
  • Make up your attitude and behavior before bringing them up
  • They are not the reason behind your divorce, it is YOU
  • They are not giving a bad mouthing to your boss about you
  • They are not filling your Employee Assessment Form
  • They are not a hidden factor behind price increase
  • They are not the ones who decided to be your KID
  • He is not the one who had chosen you as his/her parent
  • Do not compare him/her with anybody, even himself
  • Do not demonstrate authority, neither of money nor position
  • Do not blame him/her for a mistake, it is already done, better solve
  • Share with him opinions, do not be a dictator
  • Do not punish him, for failure, but share all his success stories
  • Give your self time to discover him/her; sure they are potential
  • Demonstrate him flexibility, as for him to act with flexibility
  • Do not criticize to prove right or wrong, but provide solutions
  • Criticize him by pausing questions, to give him/her time to elaborate
  • Honor your word with him/her; promise the minimum and achieve the maximum
  • Do not tell a lie, be sure he will be always honest and frank
  • Do not use profanities, certainly, he/she will be polite
  • Let him/her feel love and appreciation, consequently, they will be happy and creative
  • Listen carefully to him/her, they will show interest to all your comments
  • Respect their needs and wants, they will work with your advice
  • Let them participate all family plans, they will be your future strategic planners
  • Plan them fantastic outings, they will adore your companionship
  • If you value him/her; they will never devalue you; chain reaction
  • Believe that you are his/her Gate to Life
  • You are his/her only source of knowledge and information; so do not be false, and try to be a true one
  • If he/she is discouraging, so you are his discouraging source
  • Be a remarkable page in his Life History
  • Leave a positive human print in his/her life
  • Recognize his abilities and capabilities, and work on enhancing them
  • Do not focus on his disabilities as it is a swift moral killer
  • Build human bridge and keep rapport with him/her; they are useful in your adulthood
  • Your kid, is your contingency future plan, of what you were not able to achieve; but not your doublers/duplicates 
  • Capsulate and brief up your life experience, he/she is a continuity, they do not have to repeat the same passage, cause of lack of information
  • Let him/her live not only survive, by adding life to year, not only years to life
  • Role them a model of a tactful life fighter, for them to have endless hopes, not hopeless ends
  • Be for them an ideal figure of how to do right things, not things right
  • Show them, how to be them SELVES not for them to show their ELVES

 

Show them that Life is Coffee, not just a Cup of Coffee

 

Ghada Salah Gomaa

Business Etiquette & Protocol Consultant

Middle East

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