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Lazing around in the summer time, hanging out with friends, day dreaming and discussing the ideal men we would like to marry; our knights in shining armor to be: the first images that come to mind are that of handsome men. Maybe someone who has the looks of Rushdi Abaza, Matthew McConaughey or Brad Pitt. Naturally, we all agreed that we would be content with men who look like that.
As our discussion got deeper, the requirements of our ideal men, moved onto a different requirement, and a possible deal breaker if it is not available in a man. The requirement is, that the man has to be a real man in every sense of the word. Being good looking, rich and famous would not do and being only physically male, would not do either.
Well, what are the personality traits of a real man?
The first thing that I thought of, when I think of a personalization of a real man, I think of my father. Actually, we all thought of our fathers, and this is where we derived the definition of manhood below:
To be a real man not only in physique, you have to be the following:
Protective of your woman, not letting anyone offend her or upset her, or harm her for that matter
In case of emergencies, you are immediately there for her, and not delegating someone else to check on her, because you are lazy, or because she is independent and can manage it on her own. You feel worried about her, not because she is a child, but because she is your woman.
A man has enough self-confidence not to be threatened by a successful woman. He is not intimidated by her success.
He will not insult his woman in public, for it is demeaning, and it shows a lack of self control. A man has plenty of self control, and has no need to yell, scream or criticize in public.
A man will deal with the male hired labor, and will not rely on you to deal with the plumber and the painter, just because you can. He will deal with them directly- man to man.
You have to be generous, both in feelings and in money. If you are generous in feelings, then you are not afraid to give, and you are confident enough that it does not make you any less, if you show your feelings, and it is a sign of confidence. If you are generous in money, it is a sign you have enough faith in your ability to generate money in the future, that you are not afraid to give of it (wisely of course) now.
You are vulnerable in front of tears and weakness, and not afraid to show it.
If you end up in a public confrontation with your wife, you handle it, and you stand up, you do not hide behind your wife and let her do the talking, and claim you had a sore throat or you are sick.
You are a leader. We want to follow you, we trust you. You inspire trust and positive energy to those around you.
You are calm, collected and appear to be always in control, even when you are not, and when you don’t have a clue what you should do.
You are a Decision Maker. Not a dictator, you can take our opinions, but the final say is yours, taking our input into consideration.
You can own up to your mistakes, and admit if you have made bad decisions.
You have to be the main source of income in the house, as you do not rely on your wife’s income or her family.
If someone is ogling your wife, you do not sit back and relax, and tell him to enjoy, but you do not accept it, and take some sort of action, whether it be civilized or not.
Taking the discussion a step further, does this mean our fathers were perfect? No, our fathers’ were not perfect, nor are they cool, or modern, or maybe as sensitive as today’s men are. But they could be relied on, they could be trusted and they were in charge.
Ok, now having said that, why do most of today’s men lack these “Rugula” traits? They are physically male, on their ID’s – their gender is “Male” but in terms of personalities, there occasionally could be a doubt? Or are we Egyptian women, simply expecting too much in a challenging environment and tough economic times?