My credibility in that issue doesn’t go further than having always been the girl whose guy friends confide in and share their love-life stories with. The reason could be the fact that they consider me their comfort zone on Venus. I am into sports, I watch soccer, and I have always loved wrestling and have been a fan of WWE since I was a kid. I even believe it is real!
To cut a long story short, they feel comfortable talking to me about their girl-related trouble because they believe I always “know what they mean”. It happened over and over that I believed my friends’ relationships were going extremely well, and then got to know that the guys are considering to run away when the girls had absolutely no clue.
Today, I would like to apologize to all guys who confided in me and highly hope they would forgive me because in this article I will be telling their stories for girls to read and see the real deal in the men’s world. I’m sure it is not the only source where you could get a glimpse on how guys think, but it is my humble attempt to show you that your relationship is not always seen by your partner the way you see it.
Miss Clingy & Mr. Sick-n-Tired
It shocked me once when I was hanging out with one of my girlfriends, and she was talking about how she is having a perfect relationship with her man, how they talk for hours every day and how their time together is sacred. She was even trying to look good by eating less and going to yoga classes to lose some weight. She did not always succeed because she loves food and her degree of motivation went through ups and downs.
On the same day, her guy called me and said there was something that was really bothering him that he needed to discuss. It turns out that he is completely dissatisfied with how the relationship was going. He hated the fact that she was dependent on him, and had to call him every minute to ask for directions, advice or how he was doing or feeling. He also hated the long phone calls and found them extremely boring. He did not get why they had to talk for hours when there was nothing to be said. Finally, he wasn’t happy at all with the little effort she was making to lose weight and look good.
If I weren’t sure they were together, I would have been certain that each of them was talking about a different relationship. She was very happy and in love, and he was completely upset and dissatisfied.
Men do not appreciate clinginess; you don’t have to call your guy every second. Sharing is caring, but there is a limit!
Men want to see actions; don’t tell him you will lose weight, and then give up; if you tell him you will then you really need to shut your mouth and stop eating… “Trying” does not make you look any good and is not appreciated.
Miss Full-Time-Stalker & Mr. Freaked-Out-‘n-Ran-Away
My good guy friend complained to me the other day about how his girl was watching his every move. She hated his guys’ late daily hangouts and always made up a fight whenever he traveled with his buddies. She had to be part of every move! Not only that, she kept all his passwords; Facebook, msn, email accounts, everything!
She used to check all his accounts every day. He knew it from his friends who repeatedly asked him if he just went offline when he had no internet access. He hated being watched but he loved her so he tried to confront her several times, but she completely denied that she was even interested to explore his privacy whenever he is away. One day, he got to know from his friend that she started to talk to his friends on msn as if it were him, so he decided to change all his passwords and see what could happen. He thought she would find out in a couple of days and confront him. I repeat that… “In a couple of days”! Reality was slightly different… only fifteen minutes later his girl called accusing him of cheating on her and asking for a break-up. My friend was shocked wondering how she could monitor his moves that often. Is it real that she checks his accounts almost every fifteen minutes? He deeply hoped it was a mere unhappy coincidence!
Men want space, going out with their buddies is a part of their lives and they are not willing to change that. Why would they after all? If you do not like it, at least do not show that you hate it.
Your man definitely hates being watched. Trust him and give him space, if he does not come back and prove his loyalty then no chains or surveillance cameras could ever force him to be loyal and if one day you decide to watch him, at least play it smart!!
Miss Lonely-n-Bored & Mr. Screwed-At-Work
I got the most interesting analogy when I was talking to my friend who is suffering all the time in his relationship. He described the feeling he gets everyday when he is forced to go out with his girl as “the exact feeling of being forced to go down and pray the Eid prayer in winter; you feel exhausted and lazy that you can’t wait for the minute you go back to your house and sleep” he says he loves her a lot and is sure she is the one, but she is not being understanding enough to his work nature. He is young and ambitious and his job is tough and requires non-stop alertness for 10 hours a day. He barely takes a break and by the time he leaves his office he is really exhausted in every way. Yet, he is not allowed to go home and sleep because she wants to see him every day and if she doesn’t, she blames him and makes him feel guilty for leaving her all alone. Her life revolves around him because she loves him, but he does not like it. He wishes he could go back in time to when she had a life, was sociable and outgoing, but that is not the case anymore because eventually she started to only enjoy his company and be dependent on him. Whenever he tells her that he is busy that day and might not be able to call, her response is “I am sure you spend at least five minutes in the bathroom, you can call me then”.
Men need to feel that calling you or seeing you is a choice not a mandatory mission. It is totally acceptable and even necessary for the man in a relationship to have time to sleep, freedom to go roam in the streets or stay at home and watch a movie or do nothing. You would only be more appreciated!